The 2 Questions

On a day filled with numerology, I must get into the act.  Certain groups have the 12 steps. There are the 4 agreements.   Jews at their Passover seder have the 4 Questions.  I give you the 2 questions.

  Now you might ask what 2 questions could a person ask?  It’s not questions 67 & 68 or any other rock and roll jeopardy song that might come up.  It’s not a question that you would find on the “Millionaire” show.    These 2 questions are simple guides to daily  decision making.

The 2 questions are:

Is this good for me?

Is this the right thing?

How does this work?  Ok here’s an example.  I’m short on money and decide I’m going to rob a store.  Question 1–is this good for me?—ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! more money is never a bad thing.  Question 2 Is this the right thing? No–problem solved.

Let’s try another one.  You have an elderly relative who is in  a nursing home and you are deciding whether to visit.  Question 1 –is this good for me, No–I hate nursing homes.  Question 2–Is it the right thing, Yes… I’m going. 

The 2 questions gives us a check and balance on automatic dysfunctional behavior–you want to me do something, I don’t want to upset you, I’m doing it.  There are many people that I see who are “programmed” to act in this fashion.  They’ve never considered there own needs, let alone even asked themselves about them.  The “Is this good for me“  question, prior to beginning a process of change, might as well have been asked in Swahili, let alone English.  Once a person has started to change, they can ask “Is this good for me?” and recognize that they have some choices about their behavior.  They can even conclude “I don’t know” .

The second question “Is this the  right thing?” is a subjective, moral compass.  It guides and prevents the “self will run riot” as the AA people would describe it.  It is a check and balance for just doing what ever I want  to because it is good for me.  The same people who in the past did nothing for themselves  sometimes get  so empowered  that they  sometimes go over the line.  They rationalize, this is good for me so I’m gonna do it”, but they can’t see how that can and will effect others.  The “Is this the right thing” gives them an opportunity to pause…………   and consider if this action is indeed the right thing.

The self is a very fragile, and for most people I see a slowly developing entity.  The words self-esteem or self concept are descriptors of our selves and how we feel about us.  The 2 questions are designed to develop the self further by empowering us and paying attention to self and  at the same time preventing self absortion and self centeredness.  People get healthier as their selves grow and develop.  Its somewhat ironic that my website is change is possible, but the reality is  that change is simple; it starts with 2 questions.

One Response to “The 2 Questions”

  1. Wendy Says:

    Will begin asking myself the 2 questions!

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